I believe in the power, intelligence, and experience of other people. Because I believe in other people, I assume that they’re acting in good faith, with mutual respect. This bites me in the butt as often as it helps me, but it’s one of those core beliefs I just can’t shake. This translated to me letting pretty much anybody say pretty much anything they wanted. For the most part, our listeners treated that open invitation with respect. I didn’t even read their e-mails or listen to their voicemails before we broadcast them live on the stream, so complete was my trust in our storytellers.
Yes, some listeners betrayed that trust, but not as many as you’d think. I’m sure I don’t remember a lot of our worst trolls, but that’s because we converted them into fans of the show. It’s not hard, and trolls-turned-fans are some of the most supportive listeners you’ll have. Imagine all that negative energy they’ve wasted trolling over the years converted into positive energy and directed towards your show. If you can get them on your side, and they often already are on your side, you’ll have powerful allies spreading the word about your podcast and contributing to your community in positive, if seemingly bizarre, ways.
Who Trolls (Usually) Are
Having been a netizen[12]12 since the 1990s, I’ve run into a lot of trolls. Sometimes they came after me. Other times I’d watch them devour something I loved from a safe distance. While every person is different, I’ve found a few common traits in online trolls that allowed me to empathize with them, and taught me how to either convert them or bore them, until they were no longer a drain on our community.
Don’t assume every troll you run into fits this profile. There are aggressive, nasty, dangerous people out there, and you need to keep your wits about you, especially when you’re putting so much of yourself into your podcast. But, if you take a moment to understand why people troll, you’ll be able to deal with them in a productive way and take back control of your show.
“Since the internet is anonymous, sometimes people think they can say anything they wish without repercussions, so they do. They can’t see the person they may be hurting, so they don’t care. Trolling adds tension to the community, and may scare away new visitors who assume that sort of behavior is either the norm, or tolerated within the group.” – Noel in Savannah, GA
In the above response from a trolling survey I conducted back in 2007, Noel nails the biggest reason people troll. We’re social creatures who have been conditioned over thousands of years to care about how other human beings react to our behavior. When somebody reacts negatively to something we do in real life, it triggers a fight or flight response and teaches us that, at least in the current context, our behavior is unacceptable. When somebody types out a heated response on Facebook, it doesn’t set off the same alarm bells in a troll’s head as an in-person confrontation. No voice shouts at him to back off or let up. So, he keeps pushing that button until he gets a response, the bigger the better.
Trolls want a response because, for whatever reason, they feel unheard. They might feel unheard in their real life, in their online life, or both. Everybody wants to be heard. Not having a voice can make you feel powerless. After all, if nobody is listening to you, do you really even exist?
Other people might troll you because they enjoy your podcast and want to be a part of your community, but are too afraid to try. They’ll project their frustrations towards you, as well as their fellow listeners. Some trolls might listen to your podcast so much they’ve developed an entire back-and-forth relationship with you in their heads, then they’ll resent you for not maintaining that relationship, even though they never said one word to you before they started trolling. It doesn’t seem very fair, does it? To be judged for a relationship you didn’t even realize you were in? It might not be your fault, but a troll will make it your problem.
Sometimes, but only sometimes, trolls are just assholes with nothing better to do than to make your life difficult. These are the hopeless cases that will back you into a corner and force you to act. I hope you never encounter one of these trolls, but if you broadcast on the internet, it’s going to happen.
We had our own issues with one of the assholes, involving stalking and physical attacks in real life and personal threats over the course of two years. I won’t go into details here, since I’ve talked about it plenty with my loved ones and therapist. Before all that happened, I’d formed the core belief about trolls I’ve outlined above, that everybody deserves a chance, and it’s worth the time to help somebody find their voice. After our troll put me through the ringer, it hardened my resolve. If I let an asshole’s actions against me and my family rob me of my belief in the power of other people, to me that would be letting her win.
Dealing With Trolls
The common wisdom is that you shouldn’t “feed the trolls,” which basically means you should ignore them. This approach can work, but for many trolls it simply emboldens them to become more and more disruptive until you’re forced to respond.
Screw that. If your troll wants attention, then by all means give it to them, but do it on your terms. You can’t control a troll, but you can control your reaction. If a troll doesn’t get the response they crave, they’ll eventually apologize or give up.
The Reverse Troll
This is the best way to vanquish a troll, because you do it with a smile. Nothing is more frustrating to trolls than a happy victim. When encountering a new troll, the Reverse Troll is almost always my first move.
Listen to what your troll has to say, then respond to it earnestly, honestly, and with a healthy sense of humor. Remember radical agreement? You can weaponize it. If they ask why you’re so ugly, go into a monologue about how your parent’s genes didn’t quite fit together right. If they find your voice annoying, agree, then spend a few minutes making your voice deeper and sexier than it already is. However they try to get under your skin, radically agree, then use your wit to add your own punchline to their joke. This works best if you don’t acknowledge it’s a trick. The more you can sell it as an honest reaction from the friendliest version of your podcast persona, the more you’ll “troll the troll.” Do it well, and your troll won’t be a troll for long. Your listeners will also find it hilarious.
The Socratic Method
There was this bro named Socrates back in the day. He was pretty chill. He spent most of his days hanging out with his friends, drinking ancient wine, and talking about what it means to be alive. Basically, he was like your northeastern Liberal Arts college roommate. He probably smoked just as much pot. He was a respected teacher, but he didn’t talk at his students. He preferred to talk with them, then he’d let their curiosity guide his teachings. He didn’t shout his opinions at his students. He asked them questions which helped them come up with the right answers on their own.
Using the Socratic Method on trolls is super effective because it forces the troll to question their actions, opinions, and methods. Instead of telling them how their trolling makes you feel, ask them questions that show them how frustrating they really are.
I’ll give you an example. Imagine LeETHaX0r69-420 enters your chat room, and says all the other people in the chat room are “lame AF[13]13.” Here’s what using the Socratic approach looks like in action.
LeETHaX0r69-420: All you dumbasses are lame AF
HOST: Lame? Why do you think we’re lame?
LeETHaX0r69-420: nobody knows wtf they are talking about
HOST: Oh no! What did we get wrong?
LeETHaX0r69-420: That bald guy on the stream said Detective Wallace didn’t know about the icepick killer like a dumbass!
HOST: The bald guy? Me?
LeETHaX0r69-420: Yeah.
HOST: Well, I’m not quite bald yet, but I thought for sure Wallace had never heard about the icepick killer. When did that happen?
LeETHaX0r69-420: The Christmas episode, duh. You know, the chief guy told him right before they made out in that closet.
HOST: Oh, yeah! Sorry I forgot about that pivotal scene. Thanks for the correction. Was there anything else we got wrong?
LeETHaX0r69-420: nah, bro. its chill.
By thinking through your responses, keeping them positive, and consistently hitting the ping pong ball back in the troll’s direction, you’ll keep him on the defensive, distracting him from his trollish ways until he accidentally has a thoughtful exchange like the one above. That example is a best-case scenario, but I’ve questioned many trolls into submission. Sometimes, it just takes the right question.
Trolls Make Great Fans
I’ve always said a troll is just a fan who isn’t ready to admit they’re a fan. In fact, I’ve said it several times in this book… Maybe even in this chapter! It’s true. If you encounter a troll, judo his negativity away, and he changes his behavior and sticks around, you’ve uncovered a fan in hiding. Give him what he came for: Attention.
Whenever I’d see the name of a former troll in our chat room, I’d call them out on the stream and thank them for showing up, often right at the top of the show. When it came time to ask for feedback, I’d call them out and ask them to leave more voicemails. If a troll sticks around, it’s because they’ve earned your respect, or you’ve earned theirs. Either way, they’ll be one of your most devoted community members because you fought for them, and won.
When Enough Is Enough
Sad fact, some trolls don’t want to change. They like who they become when they get online, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. Everybody has a line. Some fancasts draw the line at language. Any reasonable podcaster would agree that racism, sexism, or xenophobia are deal-breakers. Eventually, they’ll push you past your line, and you’ll need to take action.
Wherever your line is, make sure your listeners know about it, and be prepared to explain it every time somebody crosses it and you have to take action. This is discipline on a public stage, so make sure the rules are clear and the punishment is fair. Sure, it’s your show, but nobody likes a dictator. If you encourage listeners to freely express themselves like I did, a lack of clarity will discourage them from contributing to your show.
I usually give trolls four chances. My co-host Anne Marie always said I was too forgiving, but I like walking away from a conflict knowing I did everything I could to resolve it. Sometimes these chances would play out over several weeks of voicemails. Other times, they would occupy thirty seconds of a live stream. Depends on the troll and how they troll you.
- 1st Offense – The first offense is when you’ll want to try out my techniques like the Reverse Troll. This is the best time to stop a troll, before they throw a wrench into your podcast.
- 2nd Offense – If my techniques don’t help, tell the troll what they did wrong, then let them know that if they don’t stop, you’ll have to take action.
- 3rd Offense – Mute them. Most chat platforms have a feature which mutes or freezes a user in your chat room or comments section. Think of it as a temporary ban, where the user’s comments are hidden from view for a set period of time, or until you decide to let them speak again. If your troll uses voicemail or e-mail, don’t run their feedback. It’s up to you how long, and if, you ever give them their voice back. If they reach out and seem apologetic, consider giving them one more shot. Set firm rules, and let them know breaking those rules will result in a permanent ban. If they don’t reach out, consider going in quietly a week or two later to unmute their account. Most trolls will move on, and if they act up again you can ban them. However, if they’re ready to be a member of the community, shout them out when you see them and be thankful they’ve changed their ways.
- 4th Offense – Banish your troll with a full, permanent ban. If this person continues to attack your podcast and your community after so many chances, odds are they’ll never stop. At this point, you’ll have no other option than to block them forever on as many platforms as you can. Set up an e-mail filter, if needed. It’s hard to host a podcast when you’re dealing with drama, so if you can’t convert the drama into something positive, cut your losses and get on with the show.
It’s important to give a troll a chance to redeem herself, but some people are trouble from the start, and you should shut them down as soon as possible. If anybody ever threatens violence, or makes an inappropriate comment about you, your co-hosts, or your guests, don’t be afraid to slap them with the ban hammer straight away. When we moved our live streams to Twitch we had to insta-ban people a few times, but I don’t feel bad about it. They were jerks, and they had no interest in our show anyway.
The safety and emotional wellbeing of you and your community is more important than my lofty ideals of free expression. Guidelines are great, but when you find yourself needing to act decisively to protect everything you’ve built hosting a podcast about Micronauts or whatever, don’t hesitate.